Making Summer Count; Day Five

Today was a bum out kind of day. I stayed in the house for the most part. The only time I did go out is when I went to take a few still shots of the clouds and the grass. I ended up also taking a few pictures of a bumble bee buzzing around, an alert squirrel, and a chirping birdie. :)

Between the hours of 9 and 11 AM, I drew a picture of a lemur. I know, a very random thing to draw, but I saw a picture of one yesterday. Eyes of a lemur are very cool. They're exciting and bright and alluring. They are very powerful. So I drew a picture of one, and I tried to capture the unique beauty of their eyes. I think that lemurs are becoming my favorite animal. I have the urge to draw more pictures of them. I used the picture above as a guide.

When I was finished with that, I did the most selfless thing I've done in a while. I signed up to be a volunteer at the Center for the Visually Impaired. I've never actually stepped foot inside the place, but I've seen videos they've posted on YouTube. I really like what the company stands for. In life I've met a lot of assholes who think that people with disabilities such as blindness or being deaf are of lesser value than people without disabilities, and that's a horrible way to think. I believe that we're all the same. Granted, our Saviour has designed us in different forms with different patterns, but we are all the same. No person comes above or below the next. Anyways, I'm really excited about volunteering at the center. I'll be doing things like visiting blind people's home to help them with laundry, cook, or read them a book; I'll make telephone calls to people in need just so they could have a companion; I'll get to work with preschool children at the daycare; I'll take photos of special events that we have to get the word out about us; and lastly -the most exciting thing- I'll be partnered up with a buddy my age to serve as a playmate. This all will be really fun. I'm supposed to get notified soon about an upcoming orientation. I hope this goes well. My fingers are crossed. :)

Towards the end of today, I realized that I love people astronomically. (I love that word.) My family, my friends... I'm so glad that we were created with a big enough heart to give love to the whole world. Isn't that a wonder?

Enjoy life, loves. :)

Moi Du Jour

Ever wanted to reinvent yourself? Ever wanted to drastically change your hair, your mood, your whole essence? Well, the New Year is coming up, and that's exactly what I'm looking into.

So, leaving school last semester, I left as a hot tempered, high strained, stalkerish acting, attention craving, hormonal teen girl who was into standing in the sidelines obsessing over the littlest things in life while everyone else lived their lives. I know it sounds pretty bad, but it's not as -- ok, it's bad. But apparently, I was fun to be around.

While trying to remain fun to be around, I want to reinvent myself, you know? I want to be a calm, cool, collected, French-speaking, Alice in Wonderland-loving, indie-song writing, cheerleader who happens to do track, too, and has a cute boyfriend. Is that too much to ask? And I haven't been one to keep up with New Year Resolutions, but I have a few. I actually think they'll help me mold myself:

1. Stop Procrastinating. (Which is ALWAYS on my list. but NEVER gets fixed. This year will be different, though.)
2. Be Confident and Bold Again. Say "Hey." when you see a hot guy. (All my confidence went down the drain in seventh grade, but all that is going to change.)
3. Calm Your Temper. (Yeah, I'm very temperamental.)
4. Grow healthier, better relationships. (with loved ones and unloved ones. :))
5. Read the Bible daily. (Yes. I'm inspired to do greater things towards my religion.)
6. Get things off your chest more. (That's probably why I'm so temperamental! I need to share with others how I feel so I won't go crazy. I mean, that's very unhealthy.)
7. Relax! (My mind is constantly on over-drive. I have no idea of how to relax. I'll learn, though.)
8. Cool the obessions! (We all know I'm prone to them. They take too much work and time, -but this might not happen-.)

See? I believe in myself. I think I'll be there in no time. Isn't that a wonder?

Trouble with Eros Love? C'est la Vie.

I just finished reading a post on one of my friends' blog. Unfortunately, she is very sad at the fact that she's having trouble with Eros love.



Her post, "*SIGH*", taught me that there's four types of love. I wanted to do a little research, and I found more information on it. I didn't want to include Storge Love, because that one didn't seem to fit everything else I researched. You should look it up, though. It's always best to use more than one source.

1. Agape (pronounced a-GAH-pay): the ultimate, paternal, unconditional love, such as God's love for mankind. It is pure, innocent, and everlasting. It is said that Platonic Love leads up to Agape. "Platonic love is love from the neck up." --Thyra Smater Winsolow.


2. Philia: love that exists between close friends and siblings, such as Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love


3. Eros: the love you have for your spouse. It includes sexual desire.

For her, nine times out of ten, she prefers a boy outside her race. (As for me, I'm more of a 6 out of ten. Yes, I am Black, and dear Tanner James is White.) And that is fine. Our family and friends have accepted that, and if they haven't, they are being quiet about it. Also, if they weren't, it wouldn't make a difference. We'll be attracted to who we're attracted to. Fortunately, she realizes that she has plenty of Philia and Agape love, but she wants Eros love. I told her that it's going to be difficult for us to get into a relationship with a white guy. I've accepted that, but I can't say the same for dear her. It saddens me every time to think of HER being sad and stuff. It hurts me really bad. So, for everyone out there who is getting headaches, growing worrisome, or becoming quite depressed my your crush or significant other, I am sorry. Very, very sorry, but C'est la Vie (French for "This is Life.") You aren't alone. Talk to those people who show their Agape and Philia Love for you.

Speaking of guys, my Gran, my mom, and I were in Hobby Lobby. Our cashier, this really cute guy with blonde hair and stubble on his chin, had a flower in his front pocket. He was rocking a flannel shirt, skinny jeans, and the apron that the employees wore. So, it took a great deal of my courage to compliment him and his flower. The way he said thanks led me to believe he wasn't truly thankful, but it was fine with me. It wasn't like I'd see him again. So, I looked him up and down, and licked my lips because I was afraid they were chapping. He witnessed such when he looked back up to tell me that his girlfriend gave it to him. He continues with a story about how his old one wilted up, and so she bought him a replacement. That cut me. I mean, why did I have to know he had a girlfriend?

And then just thirty minutes ago, I was here about to burst out of my skin. There was this guy, Conrad, that I used to know in seventh grade. He's really hot and really ripped. I adored him. I talked about him everyday, and I journaled about him everyday. That's when my friends should have known that I was prone to obsessions. A couple of days ago, I found him on Facebook. I added him and we were just chatting, which made my smile ginormous. We talked about what schools we go to now and everything was just peachy. We aren't talking anymore, because he had to go. But wow... <3.>

Also thirty minutes ago, I was talking to this junior, John**. I don't like him or anything, but I know a lot of people who thinks he's really hot. It's actually really pathetic to see the girls all over him. I'm not going to lie. There were a couple of days that I spent a class peroiod talking to him and his friend, but that isn't because I like him. I was bored with everyone else, and everyone likes something fresh and new. Since I didn't want anyone getting ideas, I would leave and go talk to my other friends or something. He's attractive and stuff, sure; but I'm too broken right now when it comes to boys.

There was a guy, Paul**, who is actually John's younger brother, that I liked a lot since seventh grade. He doesn't know this, but in the first week of school this year, he broke my heart. Bad. And ever since then, my love life has been a wreck. I don't like Paul now, because I'm too attracted to Tanner, but that kind of hurt me to the point where I can't healthily like a guy. I mean think about it. Remember when I mentioned my obsession with dear Conrad? Same thing applies here for Tanner.

Like I said, "C'est la Vie."

Isn't that a wonder?

*To check out Kennedy's Blog: http://kennedyscloset.blogspot.com/

Other sources: http://www.iep.utm.edu/love/#SH2a, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=1006022711082