Making Summer Count; Day Twelve

It's so hard to post sometimes, because I choose to post late at night... And by the time I post, I can't actually remember the morning. So I have to really, really search my memory to give you guys an accurate review of my day. Gosh. Well, that's how it's going to be, because I'm not changing my ways. :]

Okay, my mom bought me this new book yesterday, Dancing in the Fire. It's set in 19th century Paris- specifically, the Paris Opera House. There's a little ballerina. Her name is Sylvie. I'm not extremely far in the book, but I'm far enough to know she's finally starting to have the life she's always dreamed as far as ballet, but now it's only going downhill because of the war with Prussia. It seems really good!

If you don't know, I'm in love with the 19th century. I love the art, the clothes, the whole essence. It's my favorite time period! Well, 1800s-1930s. (My second favorite is when the dinosaurs existed. :) ) And it isn't only the 19th century America, but world-wide. It was lovely. I guess that's a suckish time period for me to like, though. Because I'm black, and that's the time period during slaves. I've never really thought about the 19th century like that until I was talking to a friend earlier, and she was like, "I hope you don't like 19th century AMERICA." I knew what she was implying immediately, but still... It was kind of a shock. I wasn't expecting that, because whenever I daydreamed about the 19th century, slavery never came up. If I'm honest, I never daydreamed about southern America. It was always New York, or England, or France... I won't let this little oil spill over my dream, though. And that's the snag, you know? Many times, I would have a really cool thought, aspiration, image going for me in my head. I'd be really into it, the thought. It'd have the tiniest embellishments of a bigger beauty, until someone comes around and says something to me that'd ruin it all. The grandeur of the dream would be crushed, and I'd forever rue the moment I revealed my personal dreams. Somethings you should keep to yourself.

I'm also really into ballerinas! Every time I go to see a ballet, during the whole performance I wonder how different my life would be if I'd stuck to ballet. The girls who do it still are so beautiful, and graceful, and elegant. They're wonderful to watch. :] I think I'm actually going to purchase a tutu. Don't make me regret telling you guys that. Isn't that a wonder?

Have fun you guys, and enjoy life.

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Gedichte. Smiles. and Art Shows.

I take German for my language class. I've been taking it since fourth grade because it's required for the school that I went to. Why my classmates and I didn't take Spanish is still a mystery to me. Since Spanish is the second leading language in the United States, it would have made so much more sense for us to have taken Spanish. When will I go to Germany and try to have a conversation? But let's get off of that note.

In German class today, we read a Gedichte (poem) about a man who knew two women. One was insecure about herself and asked questions such as, "Are my eyes beautiful?" and "Am I the best dancer?" This went on, and the poet answered each question with, "Yes." Until she asked the very forward question, "Do you love me?". He didn't answer. The second lady, was completely different, and asked him questions such as, "Did you hear from your family?" When he answered "no", she became sad. She became happy when he told her that he wasn't lonely. The last line is, "She didn't ask if I loved her." Basically implying that he loved her.**

The thing about this poem, I'm afraid that I would be the first lady! I am a very insecure person, and in class, our German teacher, Frau Kelly, was explaining to us how that wasn't attractive at all. Which of course, only made my self esteem lower! And I sit next to this really hot guy, Travis***, and we're pals. We shared a book today in class, so we were really close. Every time I even thought about shifting closer, this wave came over me, and it was amazing! The only thing: I don't like him. "/ Yeah, I'm extremely attracted to his looks, and he's extremely friendly, but I have my eyes on a bigger prize.

Which brings us to another topic. Tanner James***. He is the most beautiful guy I think I've seen. EVER. (I hope my readers realize there's a difference between "beautiful" and "hot".) Today, he was walking around the cafeteria with a jar for the Malachi fund. When I tried to donate my dollar (unnoticed), it wouldn't fit! It wasn't folded enough times, so I had to set my things down, fold the dollar a couple more times, and force the dollar down. This whole time, my friend, Jazmin, asked how tall he was (6'4"). As we walked away, I turned around to get a final look at him, and he was SMILING at me! It was amazing! Almost as awesome as the very first smile he gave me, which (I must add) was so beautiful, that I shook with happiness and began to cry! (Not in his face, of course. Much too smooth for that.) This time I began to shake, and I teared up, and it was just amazing. ")

Tanner is an artsy guy. He's in Photography, and tonight there's an art show at my school. I really wish I was able to go. I'm pretty sure his art is going to be sold there. The only thing that's stopping me is stupid transportation issues. Sometimes I wish that I could walk everywhere. That everywhere I go was in walking distance. But as for now, it's OK. There will be other chances for me to hang out with him, right? I think that's just how you have to look at life. If one thing doesn't go your way, it's OK to be mad at the world when you first get bad news. That's exactly how I was. I stopped talking to my mom, my breath caught, and I couldn't understand why she didn't have sympathy for me. But after a while, you have to get over it. Her word was final, and I had to deal with it. Plus, it isn't like I had the cash to buy his art. I went holiday shopping this weekend. :) Isn't that a wonder?

**I translated all lines from the poem into English. Since it was German class, the story was in German.

*** Name change.